Movie Review: The Men Who Stare At Goats

 Goat is my favorite actor ever.

The Men Who Stare at Goats came out some time ago, yes, I'm aware. I just watched it right now, so give me some slack. The movie stars Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, and Jeff Bridges. So general description about what happens in the movie: Hippies become Jedis and can kill goats with their mind. That's too general, I guess. Maybe I should get into detail.

So Ewan McGregor plays this reporter guy named Bob. Bob's life sucks, so he decides that going to Iraq in the middle of a war will make it better. Bob is apparently a genius. While overseas and waiting to go into Iraq, Bob meets Lyn, who is played by George Clooney. Lyn is a Jedi and after seeing a random doodle Bob made, gives him a book that explains everything.

Apparently, it was the 80s and this guy named Bill decided that to make soldiers All That [They] Can Be in the Army, they need to learn to fight like hippies, with non-violence, psychic activity, and dance, I guess. That worked out for awhile. Lyn was his best pupil. Then this douche who has a name I forgot came and ruined everything by driving a fellow soldier insane.

In the present, Bob and Lyn have to escape terrorists, a battle in Iraq, and have to survive in the middle of the desert. Through it all, they discover that some of the psychic soldiers have reformed and they stay with them. The douche is running the whole operation, and is still being evil. Then stuff happens, the protagonist learns his lesson, blah blah blah, end movie.

Oh, yeah, and at some point, there’s goat staring. 

The Men Who Stare at Goats is really funny, but I wouldn't call it mind-bending cinema. It's just fun to watch. I mean, dude, they kill goats with their mind. That's pretty awesome. If “an undisclosed online rental service” asked me to rate it on a 5 star scale, I'd give it 3 stars. It's fun to watch, it has rewatchability, but it doesn't stir emotions in me and it doesn't teach me anything – except that it'd be pretty darn cool to have psychic powers.

I like it, but it’s not great cinema.