Monday, June 14, 2010

We’ll aka this article as “Movie I Would Kick Puppies and Sell Children into Slavery for if Done Right”.  Lengthy, yeah?  That’s why I went with the other thing.

I know, title cards are not movie posters... Who wouldn’t watch this movie?  I’ll tell you who. Non-freakish, non-geekish freaks.

I guess when Freakazoid came out, I was not in the demographic -- twice  I guess part of the reason it got cancelled was because it had a huge teen boy following, and as an 11-year-old girl fan of the show, I was the freak.  Do you realize how much more that just made me identify with the show?  It was a shame that it was cancelled, because it was brilliant.

For those of you who don’t know, once upon a time in 1995 there was a brand-new kid’s programming block called Kids WB, to go with the brand new channel The WB.  None of it exists anymore.  However, one of the shows that debuted with the programming block was called Freakazoid.  It lasted two seasons, or about 1/5th of the network’s life (putting it into prospective). 

The show followed (sort of) 16-year-old Dexter Douglas, nerd computer ace and all around supergeek.  For his birthday, he was given a computer with a Pinnacle chip that had a glitch.  His cat helped him to activate the glitch, and he was sucked into the Internet where he went from geek to freak, and became superhero Freakazoid.  Now, Freakazoid isn’t your mom and dad’s superhero.  He… wait a minute, if you really want to know, there’s various research materials.  You know, Wikis.

I feel like I’m not the only one who would support a Freakazoid movie.  Probably because this happened when I Google searched “Freakazoid movie”.  I bet we’ve all imagined what such a wonderful movie would be.  It’d have to be at least a trilogy, of course.  Of course I say of course!  Here is my reasoning:

-- Origin story.  Freakazoid isn’t like Batman or one of the X-Men… There is a wide audience out there who doesn’t know who he is.  Plus, the show came out in 1995.  I don’t know if you noticed, but technology has changed in the past 15 years, and this is a hero who got his powers by being sucked into the Internet.  A fresh restart that keeps in the spirit of the show would probably be a good thing.

-- Freakazette.  Those of us who remember the show also remember Freakazette was never introduced in the show officially, despite being mentioned in the first episode.  She is a character who could finally be a character in a movie franchise.

And don't forget, there's Freakazette... Pictured: Character that technically doesn’t exist.

-- The many sidekicks and heroes.  By making it a movie franchise and not just a solo movie, there’s opportunities for the many, many characters that supported Freakazoid without trying to cram it into one movie.  I, for one, would love to see a Freakazoid/Lord Bravery team up.  I imagine it falling apart so fast and being GLORIOUS.

-- The many, many villains.  They’re all great, and it would be unfair to have to leave any out!  CaveGuy, Cobra Queen, The Lobe, Candlejack, Arms Akim--

He's gonna need more rope.

In conclusion, Freakazoid has the opportunity to be an amazing movie franchise, and if you wouldn’t sell your kidneys to make it happen, then you, sir or madam, have no soul.

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