First of all, I wish to apologize to all the dudes out there. This one is for the girls who grew up with Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield.
A denim jacket does not a bad girl make. What is Jessica, season 1 The Fonz?
As a little girl, I loved Sweet Valley. I started with Twins, as many girls of my age group did. I read The Unicorn Club, High, like 3 books from Senior Year, University, and Elizabeth… Not in that order, but chronologically that’s how they happened. I am stupid excited for a Sweet Valley movie, except for one thing…
Diablo Cody.
Don’t get me wrong! I love Juno and United States of Tara. But I’ve seen Juno and United States of Tara and I read many Sweet Valley series. I’ve even seen every episode of the TV show.
This was one of my favorite TV shows when I was 11.
Side note, how weird is it that the Red Ranger was in a season 1 episode of Sweet Valley High and then later down the road Tommy from Power Rangers joined the cast? What, Saban produced the show? Yeah, that happened.
The twins never got pregnant. The twins don’t have disassociative identity disorder. In fact, many of the better story lines didn’t even happen to the twins. Enid got paralyzed in a plane accident. Robin had the eating disorder. Regina died from a drug overdose. And no, I didn’t say spoiler alert because that’s like saying spoiler alert before revealing that Darth Vader is Luke’s father. If you don’t know by now, you’re a dude who’s not watching the movie anyway or a little kid.
Truth is, high school was not a hotbed of excitement when it comes to storylines for Elizabeth and Jessica. Especially when you start University with Jessica getting married to an abusive freak that she just met, Enid changing her name to Alexandra and deciding to pull an Amy and ditch Liz for Jess, Lila getting married and having her boyfriend blow up, and Todd breaking up with Elizabeth for not sleeping with him. During the first 2 books. University ended with Elizabeth running away to England after she caught her boyfriend cheating with her with Jessica. Sweet Valley University would be a Diablo Cody worth movie.
This kind of thing never happened to the twins in high school!
In all fairness, Sweet Valley High had Elizabeth… protesting a beauty contest Jessica was in. Um, I mean, the twins starting a letter writing business where Elizabeth accidentally wrote her own break up letter from Todd. I mean… wasn’t there a storyline with a werewolf?
Riveting.
But Sweet Valley High was where it all began, and where it all ended, so logically, it’s the series that gets all the attention. I’m cautiously excited, because while this has the potential to be an awesome movie for me to compete with the boy heavy movies based on 80s properties, I read the updated Double Love. It made me cry.
Don’t let me down, Diablo Cody.
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